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One liners

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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: Jokes
Forum Description: Keep it clean-ish people! Will be moderated :)
Printed Date: 04 Jul 2020 at 06:30
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 -

Topic: One liners
Posted By: Roger Ramjet
Subject: One liners
Date Posted: 11 Feb 2018 at 22:04
Since having a neck brace fitted I've never looked back.........
I spent £500 buying my wife a trampoline for the lounge - she hit the roof......
The specialist in hospital explained that there was only one treatment left for my very ill granddad, to turn him on his front and cover his back in lard. He went downhill very quickly after that.........

Posted By: andyisavinit
Date Posted: 24 May 2018 at 10:48
Saw a telly for sale in a shop window for ONLY £1, label said volume stuck on full – I can't turn that down!   

Bought a dog from a blacksmith - got him home and he made a bolt for the door.

Saw a baguette in a zoo - keeper told me it was bread in captivity

Seen the price of velcro? - What a rip off!

I got bored with boxing so I took up Thai boxing - Got more of a kick out of that!

Read a book about the history of glue - Couldn't put it down!

(mostly Tim vine)

Posted By: redratbike
Date Posted: 24 May 2018 at 11:20


Posted By: cwp
Date Posted: 24 May 2018 at 20:20

born ugly what's your excuse!!

Posted By: Jambon
Date Posted: 30 Apr 2019 at 11:47
Camping's in tents

Posted By: cwp
Date Posted: 30 Apr 2019 at 18:54

born ugly what's your excuse!!

Posted By: damo46
Date Posted: 30 Apr 2019 at 21:44
Two blondes walk into a'd think one of them would have seen it.

Road Racing Ireland, Do It Between The Hedges

Posted By: Noy Noy
Date Posted: 30 Apr 2019 at 22:07
I love to go down to the park and watch the kids running and jumping about screaming - well they don’t know I’m only using blanks........

Aching back, knackered wrists - What Mille yer got then?

Posted By: cwp
Date Posted: 01 May 2019 at 22:57
Originally posted by damo46 damo46 wrote:

Two blondes walk into a'd think one of them would have seen it.


born ugly what's your excuse!!

Posted By: Pete 86
Date Posted: 02 Apr 2020 at 23:21
Why did the mexican throw his wife on the fire?


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